Women: Objects Unable to Survive Without Telephones

Today, in the name of science, six men got into a locked chamber where they will stay for the next 520 days in order to simulate a trip to Mars. "Why all men?" I wondered, thinking that perhaps there were deep psychological reasons that it was better to have an all male "crew." According to one article, it's actually that women can't handle not talking on a telephone for 520 days:

"It is harder for a woman to be taken out of life and put in isolation," said Mars500 project director Boris Morukov.

"The most important thing here is motivation, and limitations would upset women. You're not allowed to talk on a telephone," he added.

And, of course, "women" not being there now becomes something for the rest of the crew to miss. You know, in the way women miss using telephones, men miss being able to use women.

The crewmembers said they would miss women terribly during the simulated trip but that the sacrifice was worth it.

In fact, the quote by the crew member right after this line makes it clear that it's not "women" he will miss, but rather his family, including a particular woman - his wife - and probably also including some men as well.

"It will be hard but I just try to recall all the great travelers who found the New World and who were also without their families," Sitev said.

So in fact it's not that the scientists will miss "women," but that they'll miss everyone other than the 5 guys they're stuck in a metal tube with. As would anyone. In fact, that's the point of the experiment to begin with.